The cross we have to bear
Reflections on obedience to God on this Good Friday
Returning to Christ feels to me like graduating from spiritual kindergarten.
I deeply value my time in Tibetan Buddhism, my 10+ years studying and innovating in the world of masculine depth psychology, even my dabbling with tantra, ayahuasca and all the fun idols of the new age marketplace; none of it is wasted.
Though the courage and obedience required to truly walk with Christ is like nothing I have ever experienced.
In my thousands of hours of deep Buddhist practice, my ego never had to *truly* submit.
Yet when walking with Christ, submission is the path, and it feels risky as fuck.
On this path, God isn't some abstract cosmic force, but an intimate presence that tells me things I can choose to obey or reject.
Yet the problem with this path is that while the choice is real, the path is lost with disobedience.
Obedience IS the path, and all freedom and authority in spirit comes from this obedience, and of abandoning the realm of "having it my way".
Yet I am a rebellious one, and with an iron will.
It has served me well in standing against corruption in the world of Men, though I long to be free of it in my relationship with God.
Letting go of my need to be the master of my destiny is so radical that it frequently terrifies me.
And yet, that is what this path of obedience demands.
In the gardens of Gethsemane, even Jesus Himself negotiated with God over His destiny, but the die were already cast, and He knew He had to die for us that day.
Is seeing what God did with Jesus the reason I myself struggle with obedience?
Do I suspect that God's plans for me are ones I won't like?
Yes, I do.
But how can I live if I don't trust God?
Is that a life at all?
Isn't the willingness to obey, to be remade in His image over and over, the very purpose of our existence?
What else is there?
Fame?
Worthless.
Validation from Men?
Fleeting, and gone the moment we stop pleasing them.
Money?
Nice. But poverty if we don't have God.
Activism and healing the world?
Not possible without God, as the systems built by Man are Luciferian through and through.
Family?
Yes, but Family is of God, and they fall apart without Him.
There is nothing I can think of that is worth having if God isn't part of it.
The world of Men has no true nutrients for the human soul.
In seeking validation from that world, I am eternally lost, and my soul weeps in isolation.
In valuing the world of Men more than my obedience to God, I have lived a life of sin.
I have missed the mark over and over because I wanted it my way, and to have some level of influence over my life.
I wasn't willing to bear my cross with dignity.
Though as central as the cross is, the true message of Jesus Messiah is the the coming of the Kingdom of God to this planet.
In this time when Lucifer reigns, and our leaders serve the wrong master, we must become like Christ.
Let our souls be filled with living water, drinking from the wells of the one true God, and find there—through obedience—the spiritual authority required to take on our enemy head on.
This is our cross to bear, and if you—like me—feel called, know that your opportunity will come soon enough.
But now is the time to prepare.
For a true follower of Christ is one who is forever preparing for war in the spirit.
Yet we can never hope to win that war lest we first learn to accept our cross, and accept that God's plan for our lives may be completely different than our own.
Happy Easter
Eivind
🙏✝️🔥